Relapse, friends and SMART goals

It has been quite some time since I last posted and a lot has happened. I don’t mean to sound negative but there hasn’t been much good news this last month.

After finally managing to get rid of my mate who stayed with me for a while, he then turned up 3 weeks later, totally unannounced and dropping hints about having no where to stay.

Generally speaking I will help whoever but there comes a line and a limit to how much I will do. After staying with me for a month for virtually nothing. Turning up on my doorstep 3 weeks later without any prior warning whilst playing the guilt card just wound me up. I have lost count how many times I have said to both this friend but everyone else I know “DO NOT TURN UP AT MY HOUSE”.

Unless it is a serious emergency then exceptions can be made. As harsh as this sounds but it is not my responsibility to make sure you have somewhere to stay. What makes it even worse it the day he turned up we was having the house valued ready to sell. If he would have mentioned it I would have said in no unclear terms you cannot come round.

Although I don’t mind company and spending time with friends, in all honesty I enjoy my own company more often. As long as I have my gaming pc, an internet connection and games to play I am in my element.

This last month has been pretty bad as far as using/rellapsing goes. I came into some money which is and always has been a major trigger for me. Monday is a new week and hopefully I can get things under control. My main aims for next week are as follows

  • Create a weekly food/meal planner including snacks and fluids
  • Log all meals, snacks and drinks
  • Implement a reasonable routine using the SMART principle (Specific, measured, achievable, realistic and timed.
  • Select 2 days a week to go to the gym even if only for 30-60 minutes
  • Set up alerts for all bills, direct debits, debts etc
  • Read for at least 30 minutes before bed

Slightly off topic but still goals nonetheless I want to begin posting to this blog far more regularly and also writing reviews/articles for a passion website I run. Depending how well these current goals go this coming week I may extend them whilst also adding totally new ones.

I had an appointment with my local drug support worker on Wednesday and was totally expecting to be drug tested as I’ve not been in for around 2 months. I would have admitted that it would be a total fail and hopefully save them some money as I have no reason to admit to using any substance with my methadone takeout at stake. Lucky for me I got away with it this time, meaning I keep my takeout doses and can also reapply for my license within the same timescale.

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