Life, Death and a New National Lockdown

So we’re all heading back into lockdown over here in the UK. To be quite honest it doesn’t bother me all that much. I spend so much time online and have friends all over the world that it isn’t anywhere near as isolating as it is for others.

As a family it has been an even stranger time as my Uncle who last year got throat cancer as a result of a lifetime of problematic drinking. He never seemed to fully recover but this is unusual as he has been resistant to any kind of treatment regardless of what it was for. I hate to say it but just like me in the may day of my addiction all he wants to do is to drink day in day out and not be called out or questioned on it. We have on numerous occasions tried to get him help but you can’t force someone to address issues they have to want to. He was adopted by my Nan as 6 weeks old with his twin brother.

For complex reasons to do with his birth Mum not wanting him seemed to left him yearning for something his whole life. I don’t think even he knows what he really wants. I always saw him as my true Uncle. In fact he was and still is my favourite Uncle and I can pretty safely say most of my cousins would agree with me on this. I guess this makes it even more sad that this yearning within him led to alcoholism and it is this that initially started the cancer that has now spread all over his body.

There is a silver lining of sorts. That being that the Doctors think he does at least have some time left and this isn’t a death sentence next week. I’m not the only one in the family left relieved and surprised given the extent of this new cancer and his general health wouldn’t give you the best outlook.

Outside of the worry over having another close family death just around the corner things have been going ok. I’m not having any problems staying away from hard drugs. As much as I do like to be indoors and online it does get boring at the same time. Things may not be perfect, but at least I am not in the cycle of actively using hard drugs. As long as I get my methadone prescription life ticks along quite nicely.

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