Now I don’t want to mislead if you follow my blog then you will know I have not reached 0mg on my methadone script but I did do a rather fast reduction from 40ml to 25ml. I knew I would probably had a bad time and I did. I have 1500+ml of methadone in my fridge but the promise I made to my babys Mum that I would get clean meant alot. I made that promise with every intention of keeping it. Don’t get me wrong I woke up with that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, my sheets were soaked with sweat and my body is hot one minute and cold the next. I’m yawning constantly and every time my eyes water. These are all the usual withdrawal symptons I have. At least I’ve not had the stomach cramps and restless leg syndrome. When my Mum fronted the idea of going up a little I said no I made a promise and I’m not going up a single mg. Instead I will use perscription meds which are not opiates to help me deal with the symptons I’m having. 900mg of Pregabalin mixed into a drink and 40mg of Oxazepam taken sublingal (dissolve under your tongue) sorted me out and by about midday I felt normal. Even when these prescription drugs wore off I had the most minor of symptons but I can live with that.
Even though I’m adamant to keep this promise it doesn’t mean I’m doing it soley for my baby mum, my son, my Mum. They are of course all factors in a complex equation. I am for once actually getting clean for me. It was a choice not something pushed on me. I want my driving license back and I have to do this if I want to get back on road. Cars were my thing and losing my license just meant I gave even less of a fuck about my life and went on a mad one. I was that addict that if you stood in my way I’ll fucking blow right through you to get my drugs.
I have only ever been this low on methadone 3 times while I have been on a script pretty much for the entire last 10 years. I am pretty sure that tomorrow willl be far better as my body should have adjusted to the reduction.