Internet Issues

First of all I would like to say sorry for not keeping my end of the deal, not posting once a week on the day I said I would. Being an addict my life is chaotic both physically and mentally. Whenever I try and set goals like this I usually end up putting things off for terrible reasons. Motivation is a big hurdle for me. Sometimes I have loads and other times none at all.

The last two weeks has seen my internet, router, my Mum’s PC or a combination of the above. The strange thing is a few weeks back everything was working fine on my PC which uses a wired connection. My Mum’s PC however which connects wirelessly using a dongle was disconnecting over and over again for no good reason. Finally we got that problem sorted, I still have no idea what caused it but now our router is continuously disconnecting and reconnecting. Just today it was working perfectly for a 20 hour period and then bang it starts all over again. We are going to have to get in touch with EE because it is happening far to much to be any normal connectivity issues.

I was due to have a filling replaced that had fallen out and no lie seconds after I sat in the chair it stopped working and I ended up having to rearrange it and wait another few weeks. It isn’t causing me any pain and I managed to change my appointment to see my drug support worker to the same day. There is a couple of hours between them but I will grab some blunt wraps, weed and general shopping while I’m over there. I’m often asked about cannabis use considering I am an addict and have a very addictive personality in general. Cannabis is a drug that other than hurting my bank balance has very few negative effects. There are also positive effects such as improving my sleep patterns. Most nights I take some kind of sleeping tablets, they also often leave me feeling groggy in the morning. I also find cannabis very helpful in controlling my anxiety and I would even go as far as to say it helps me deal with depression. I guess this is because it improves my mood. Even without these positive effects I actually enjoy smoking cannabis and it doesn’t come with the problems that heroin and crack cocaine do.

When I have my appointment with my support worker I will likely be drug tested which hopefully will lead to some more take out doses. Even though having to go to the chemist each day has helped with my daily routine, it can be a real pain other times. It becomes very draining. Day in day out I have to go. It also makes going away anywhere for more than a day pretty much impossible. I could apply for take home to go away but it is hassle to do so.