Death, depression and decorating

So lately has been quite a hard time for me. At the end of 2018 my best mate died from cervical cancer. We had fallen out and wasn’t speaking over something so stupid. We argued because I didn’t get her a bottle of water. I’d do anything to go back and make things right between […]

New Pharmacist, Methadone and House Valuation

For the last couple of weeks the place I get my Methadone from has had no permanent pharmacist instead a series of locums aka temps. We have at least got a semi permanent replacement 3 days a week. She also happens to be one of my favourites for a number of reasons. Firstly she is […]

Facebook is thwarting my plans

Back in 2010 when I originally started blogging about my addiction I also started a number of social media support groups the most popular being over on Facebook. Due to real world issues I had to pass ownership to a trusted admin and close down my blog so I could go back into work without […]

Keeping busy

Well I have to say I have found decorating my Nan’s flat not only very rewarding but also quite motivating. It has been so long since I really used the skills I have and decorating is something I am really good at. Not only can I decorate to a high standard but also at a […]

Past, Present and the Future

I’m sat up writing this post at 3.30am. Tomorrow is my Nan’s funeral and I just can’t seem to switch off. In all honesty I’ve not really tried, hence after tomorrow I’m planning on reading 10 pages or more during the day, and then again at night. I’m also going to try listening to those […]

Decorating, Funerals and Life

Sorry I’ve not posted sooner, but this last week has been so busy. The flat my Nan lived in needs decorating so I volunteered to do it. Originally my Mum said no because motivation isn’t exactly my strong point, and I often leave jobs half finished. I decided to start decorating to show that I […]

Good workout but terrible test results

Today my family has had yet more bad news. My Uncle had an appointment to get the test results about the bump on his chin. Just before Christmas he noticed a lump on his chin. He didn’t think much of it at first. Christmas came and went, and this lump was still there. It wasn’t […]

First love, first job and hearthbreak

Instead of writing a really long post covering my path from teenager to current day. Instead I will split my story across multiple posts. It is 2007 and I have just been given my first job in a food retail store. I was also in a serious relationship with the most amazing girl ever. I […]

Happy Reduction Year for me

This year my birthday took on a pretty quiet affair. That isn’t to say I’m out getting really drunk or taking loads of drugs usually. I may be an addict and am even one to say there is possibly a genetic element with addict. That is my personal experience with addiction at least. Back to […]

Peering into my dark past planning a bright future

I don’t mean to keep going on about my switch to methadone. A move that my fellow addicts would likely see as a step backward. For me it has without a doubt been a step forward. I don’t wake up each morning feeling totally empty, without purpose and useless. I can actually motivate myself to […]